Internet Dating Resource Center
Online Dating Services Help Desk
The Art of Internet Dating
The Art of Internet Dating by Judy Barton
Keys To Successful Online Dating Experiences Marketing You Online
http://internetdate.webs.com/
Today’s singles are discouraged with the traditional means of meeting other singles. The bar scene no longer offers the glitter and glamour appeal it once held. The efforts required finding a partner or mate in that type of environment is often taxing and offers little past frustration.
The new dating trend focuses on finding love and friendship through the vast resources available on the Internet. Our neighborhood playground has expanded to include the world. This high tech movement has proven to be a more efficient form of dating and social networking for a great majority of singles. Is it practical, safe and worth the effort?
As with anything in life, Internet dating holds both positives and negatives. Overall it offers more benefits than harm. The list of pros and cons is long and the journey as unique as the individuals who choose to take it. The good, the bad and the ‘oh my goodness’ all exist in one format and no two like experiences will offer the same results.
This book explores the myths and realities of Internet Dating and provides the information necessary for successful online dating ventures. Judy Barton, Dating, Relationship & Sex Coach, will offer an holistic approach to better insure positive results.
The Female Persuasion
Yes ladies, we all wear our “female” at times, play the games, manipulate through feminine wiles and pretend to be something we’re not. We do this primarily as a direct result of pre-programming, environmental role modeling and because, lets face it, it does get us what we want. If we consider this course in the grand scheme of things however, it usually serves to provide a short-lived fix which eventually comes back to haunt us. Is the female persona a gift, a curse or simply an abuse of power?
We size up men for their potential and then attempt to train and transform them into our ideal image. We pretend to be offended by their masculine presentations and open assertions regarding sex. We turn on the charm and the tears at will and are determined to make the men in our lives responsible for our life experiences and happiness. We hold the power of sex and wield it to trap them and at a moment that suits us, transform it into a tool of punishment and torture for any lack of patronization. Are those mixed messages and abuses of power conducive to the success and happiness we seek?
Each time we choose a man it is based on our visions, our needs, our hopes and dreams and by our standards and design. If things don’t go according to our plan we blame him for our own bad choices. One of the biggest complaints from men is that innate need women have to change them, to mold and shape them to the female design. Men are what they are, and most like it that way. If women did not hold the power of sex men wouldn’t dare agree to conform. However, forcing that reform usually means failed relationships or breeds discontented men who cheat. Are we really better off having an unhappy man rather than no man at all?
Any woman who has spent time out with the girls can attest to our conversations regarding sex. Most often they are more open and raw than those hosted by men. Yet when a man dares to speak of such things in our presence, we behave as if we have been grossly offended and demoralized. Women love sex until they get into a relationship or marry and then sex becomes something ugly. Our lust and sensuality are replaced with age-old designs, complacency and female power. We use that power as both punishment and reward leaving men confused and frustrated with the inconsistencies.
Men carry the visions of their relationships and home life to the workplace where they are exposed to the temptations of finely decorated women who areplaying the same games and using those same feminine wiles to gain attention as we did when our designs were new. Men then go home to a whiny woman in sweats or to the woman who is absorbed in her own workplace issues and has no desire to share loving intimacy with him. If our goal is to make them happy we are definitely going about it in the wrong way.
It is not difficult to understand why they cheat or want out of the relationship. Women smugly maintain their power and refuse to conform. The men are expected to make the changes and sacrifices needed to keep the relationship in tact. If men cheat it is blamed on their bad character rather than the world their women have created for them. There is little attention paid to their needs as men, yet we cry foul when the relationship has failed.
Being feminine is admirable and promotes positive reactions and responses. Being female is ugly business and provokes the negative images that have been passed down through the ages. Men should be accepted as men and not created in the female design. For when the spell of the female persuasion has been broken by frustration, there is no magic formula to reincarnate its power and influence. Successful relationships demand that we accept our men as men and wear our femininity with pride. Our female is best left in a shallow, unmarked grave in the back yard.
Speaking of Sex….
Why do we find it so difficult to talk about sex, or openly express our sexual needs and desires? What are we afraid will happen if we do?
Most of us are taught that sex is a taboo subject, which is not discussed openly in the name of decency. Nice girls don’t and gentlemen mind their manners out of respect. Are we to assume then that gentlemen and nice girls just always do it right? Following this logic of assumption suggests that being prim and proper equates to good sex and would leave communication as an obsolete necessity.
For the majority of us it is the fear of reprisals and judgments, which provokes our silence. We’re afraid that if our secrets were revealed in truth, we would be ostracized for our wicked thoughts and evil lust. We are pre programmed to suffer embarrassment and shame with regards to our sexual needs and desires. If the gift of sex is meant to come with so many limits and restrictions one is left to question who created the rules and by what reasoning and logic they were set in place.
There are those of us who fear ourselves more than we fear what others might think. We are afraid of what might be hidden in our secret garden of sexual desire and are a little more than apprehensive with regards to facing our own sexual realities. If we don’t talk about it, it can’t exist. We assume that if we ignore it, it will go away. What we fail to realize is how deeply these hidden truths are embedded in our psyche and how seriously they impact our everyday lives. Unwittingly they ultimately determine the paths we take.
The fact is that sex is not evil or perverse and poses no harm. It is, however, the part of our inner being we deny, the self we repress. It is our essence, a natural piece of our intricate puzzle. Sex is a natural force of nature and was not intended to be ignored, hidden away or treated as an evil plague, a sin worthy of burning at the stake. We should be taking full advantage of this great gift we were given. Instead we tend to promote and nurture our unavowed dreams and forbidden truths by confining their life to the dark recesses of our unconscious mind.
Even if we dare not speak of this mystical, magical world of secret fantasies and yearnings, it lives non-the-less and strives to break through the walls we’ve constructed to hide its presence. Our sexual seeds are carefully planted there and whether we tend them or not, the blossoms grow. Left unattended, it creates restlessness and voids which we can never seem to fill. Our inhibitions and fears merely serve to create a cycle of unfulfilling and discontented relationships.
Like it or not, our secret garden exists. There is no shame in recognizing its existence or accepting its realities. Good sex does not come with the disposition of our personality and character traits. It is created and honed by the sharing of our inner selves and openly addressing our needs. Crystal balls can offer no solution and assuming is a dangerous practice.
It isn’t likely we will we find a partner who is capable of reading minds and will instinctively know of our needs and desires. It requires that we say it out loud, express it in a form, which others can understand. Communication still is and always will be vital to the success of any relationship and sexual experience. If we are fortunate enough to find someone to share our secrets with, we are able to tear down the walls and let the sun shine on our garden of blossoms, allowing them to grow freely. Greatness is achieved by providing an environment for greatness to grow!
Inner Voyages
Inner Voyages is an agency dedicated to providing quality services, with fees and formats designed to meet the varying needs of our clients. We offer discounted fees for organization, business and corporate clients.
We offer:
*Private Coaching Sessions
*Group & Community Coaching Workshops
*Lectures & Seminars
Our Services Include:
Life Coaching
* Personal Growth & Development Coaching
* Dating & Relationship Coaching (Singles & Couples)
* Premarital Education & Coaching
* Career Management
* Communication 101
Premarital & Wedding Services
*Civil & Religious/Spiritual Ceremonies
*Commitment Ceremonies
*Vow Renewal
*Premarital Education, Coaching & Consultations
*Family Services & Mediation
Parent & Family Services
*Family Conflict in Marriage & Divorce
*Religious/Spiritual Conflict
*Surviving Adolescence-A Parent’s Guide
*Parenting the special needs child
*The ABCs of good parenting
*Helping Teens Succeed
*Foster Parent Support Center
Tarot Reading & Consultations
Connecting Through Tarot
*Direction/Insight Reading & Consultation
*Major Arcana/Power Reading & Consultation
*Open Reading & Consultation
*Other Reading
Children of Darkness
Please help, for I have fallen
Into a hell on life’s far edge.
I am somewhere, deep in nowhere,
Trapped, with no escape.
There is nothing I can reach for,
No knight to set me free,
Doomed, alone, in my dark abyss,
No light embraces me.
Lost in this world forever
To wither in this pain,
No love to heal these wounds,
No comfort to regain.
Thoughts of love and family
Consume my inner soul,
There has to be a rescue,
I can’t live this pain alone.
I regret all my transgressions,
This is more than I can bear,
Please reach and try to find me,
I’m here – in foster care.
JSB
