Just How Important is Sex in a Relationship?

Sexual issues hold enough impact to disrupt relationship commitments and marriages, which makes a clear statement of it’s importance in our over all compatibility. Sex concerns play a major role in the high rate of divorce and is the cause for most all incidences of cheating. With the divorce rate and relationship failures rising above 50%, one would have to conclude that a great number of people are dissatisfied with their sex lives. It would seem wise to give serious thought to this aspect of our relationships and question the cause for such high rate of failure. Do today’s fast paced lifestyles affect our decisions regarding a partner? Are our relationship choices based in lusty infatuation, driven by fleeting emotions? Do we suffer from a lack of proper planning?

Successful relationship ventures require planning for healthy and satisfying sexual experiences. Sexual compatibility contributes to the over all health and well-being of the relationship itself. In the beginning of a relationship couples discuss all aspects of life to determine compatibility and make decisions about the future. They talk openly about their political views, spiritual and moral beliefs, address needs and desires and share their dreams and aspirations. Sex too has a place as a main consideration. Sexual needs are viable and any verbal or written agreements involving a relationship commitment should include a parley and alliance regarding sexual needs. Any partner who fails to meet those needs would then be in breach of the marriage vows or commitment agreement, leaving a standing order for an out clause. The subject of sexual needs, wants, and desires must play a critical role in the discussions and negotiations to better ensure success.

Sex is not merely an event or a task to be done as a matter of course. The bonding it presents, in its truest form, is the essence of a lasting commitment. When sex is ‘just sex’, the chances for long-term happiness and contentment diminish greatly, therefore it is important that this subject be addressed and agreement reached, before any actual commitment takes place. Designing a plan in accordance with a mutually agreed upon checklist of needs, wants and desires is a good standard practice. Needs can’t be ignored and will eventually become deal breakers. Settling for whatever is offered usually warrants a discontented mate and cheating. Neither of those end results is an acceptable alternative to designing a lasting plan and getting what we really want.

Any relationship requires honesty and in planning for success it is wise to remain honest with yourself and your partner about your sexual needs. It is also important to be honest about your capabilities to meet the needs of your partner. Misrepresenting the facts or hiding your true sexual needs and desires will only prolong the inevitable failure of the relationship. For those who have little time or interest in the confines of the typical relationship, it is probably a good idea to consider a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement rather than making a commitment that is doomed to fail.

Sex is an integral part of the human existence and cannot be ignored or taken lightly. It holds great significance in our physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. The importance of the sexual experience in our relationships holds great significance and will usually determine the harmony and balance we all seek.

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Published in: on June 10, 2008 at 3:58 pm Leave a Comment
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Marketing You Online-Internet Dating Profiles

Marketing yourself in an online dating format can prove to be quite challenging. We are all very complex individuals and it is difficult to effectively state the intricacies of our total being in a few short paragraphs. Since your profile is essentially your first meeting, it is important to give serious attention to this aspect of your online dating experience. Taking care to choose the appropriate words and setting the right tone can offer a solution. How should the world view you?

Your online portrait should appropriately state who you are and clearly define what you seek. Your profile is you, and needs to reflect your glowing, positive qualities. The energies you emit through your writing will attract like energies. The tone you set in the first couple of lines will determine your success. Stating yourself with confidence and enthusiasm will entice the reader and precipitate that same type of positive attitude in response. Adding a bit of intrigue and mystery will provoke a desire to know more.

Your writing should be accurate, sincere and to the point. Any long-winded dissertation will merely prove to deter interest. The addition of humor will impart warmth and offer insight into your personality and spirit. Creating a clever, whimsical introduction line that displays an engaging disposition will extend an approachable aura. The goal is to attract attention and promote you as being a valuable asset. Offering the reader a pleasant place to visit while adding a smile to their day is always a positive and will inspire a call to action

Be clear with regards to your likes and dislikes but don’t limit yourself with labels. Use a no-nonsense approach while offering a hint of your depth. Your statements should reflect exactly what you have to offer and what it is you are looking for, in short summary. Your profile need not display your life history or any negative aspects of your circumstances. Negatives are not attractive and showing your weaknesses places you in a vulnerable position from the start. Keep it real, effective and on the lighter side.

Your objective is to avoid misrepresenting yourself and creating an atmosphere for potential misunderstandings. Clearly stating your limits and boundaries will speak to your strength and character. (IE: Please do not respond if you are married, in town looking for a good time, live out of state, seeking cam sex or casual sex, etc). You can emphatically define those as an addendum rather than the foreword. Although it is important information to share, it is best to keep it separate from your list of endearing qualities and positive attributes. Be careful not to offer anything you cant’ or aren’t willing to do in reality. Leave little room for interpretation.

Pictures add to the number of responses and interest but are not a necessity. Choosing to add a photograph to your profile should be based on your level of comfort and need for discretion. If your profile is well written and holds enough power, intrigue and mystery, it will command a response without a photo. Any picture you add should reflect the same qualities as your written word. Pictures with babies and animals are attention getters and present an endearing disposition. Far too many people display outdated pictures and misrepresent themselves in order to boost their contacts. That form of deceit may help to fill your email inbox but will not help in reaching your ultimate goal.

The Internet brings us in contact with the world and offers endless opportunities. That type of exposure does not come without risks however. There are very specific rules for online dating and exposing yourself to the world through cyber space. When preparing your profile and in preparation for the online dating experience, it is wise to consider the risks and possible consequences. In that regard it is imperative that you avoid offering any personal information in your profile. It is wise to use an alternate email address and Instant Messaging screen name for dating contacts. When you feel comfortable moving to a telephone meeting it is best to give a cell number rather than your home phone number to better protect you. Great adventures lie ahead if you are prepared and have planned well.

Published in: on June 3, 2008 at 4:40 pm Leave a Comment
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